Saturday, August 31, 2013

The Art of Hitching

There's a bit of a knack to hitching - don't ask me what it is because I still depend on dumb luck and big smiles. However, you have a fair amount of time to kill whilst hitching (no one ever said it was the fastest means of transport, usually just the most interesting!). So, E and I came up with some rules for hitchhiking.

1. No one in a moving car can tell if your smile is forced.

2. Always carry emergency gummy bears. We didn't end up needing ours but when it's raining and 3am and you're tent is broken because somebody sleep walks and you're in the middle of nowhere... they can become vital.

3. A pity ride is still a ride.

Ok, so these images seem pretty random but I swear, this is what comes up when you google 'pity ride'. Take that as you like. 

4. You can definitely fit on that tractor, yes, even with your bags.

5. Avoid sunglasses where possible as they disrupt eye contact. Which you need because...

Would you pick up this creep?
6. ...the efficiency of the guilt stare has yet to be proven but it will definitely make you feel better.

7. It is legitimate to talk solely about the weather with numerous people for 4 hours.

8. Pubs are in every town and they often have wifi, toilets and, well, beer.

9. No matter your political, social or religious views, while you are in a car you nod and smile.

10. Expect your reaction to creepy vans approaching to change dramatically.

11. Being heckled by passersby will suddenly begin to feel encouraging.

12. Thou shalt get a weird tan line because:
        a. you have bugger all clothes and only one pair of sandals and,
        b. you've forgotten to buy or apply sunscreen and you've been standing on this roadside a while...

For us shorts and jandal tan lines were the worst. Any non-kiwis, a jandal is a flipflop or a thong (Australian).
13. If you are very nice to the police, they might drive you to a better hitching spot. (In our case it was after fining us but I've heard stories where they were just nice!)

14. Whether or not they are allowed, some truck drivers will pick you up, so it's worth keeping your thumb out or chatting them up at service stations.

15. Accept all offers for showers and food - laundry you may need to ask for.

16. Of course it's not weird to stay with that friend of a friend of a friend in Paris (something that didn't end up happening but we were all for it).

17. Last but not least, listen to advice from the locals. We ended up doing a bunch of cool things because random people who picked us up were local and suggested them.

Taking over a bar in Galway

Conquering Carrauntoohill

Walking through the Gap of Dunloe then sailing out


Fireworks competition

Dune du Pilat

Free concert in Paris

Chaumont Buttes park

The best view of Paris (which isn't from the Eiffel tower by the way)

This jungly restaurant
It's also good to learn some songs to keep you amused. Our particular favourites were The Philosopher's Drinking Song by Monty Python and Tutira mai nga iwi for a taste of home.We tried to learn Come Out Ye Black and Tans for Ireland and a French Children's rhyme (Une Souris Verte) but they didn't stick. Possibly because we lacked the proper accents.

Also, a bit of advice for anyone considering giving rides to hitchhikers:

Find a hitcher. Pick him up. All day long you'll have good luck!

Relax Mum, we didn't actually do this!

No comments:

Post a Comment